WEBVTT

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So hello everybody, my name is
Deanna Fong and I'm the Literary Editor of the

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Capilano Review. I'm delighted to
be in your company again, dear friends, and

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tonight, possibly more than any
other night, I'm acutely aware of Roy Kiyooka's

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imprint on this series, which you
yourselves may feel over the course of

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tonight's readings. His spirit of
conviviality, his cohort of beloveds, and

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the wide map of his heart's
geography, this latter term, a wave to those of you

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who are joining us remotely by
livestream. Hi. We're gathered here

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tonight on the unceded ancestral
territories of the Musqueam, Squamish,

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and Tsleil-Waututh people, nations
who have been living, creating, and gathering

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in community on this land since
time immemorial. In opening our events with

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these acknowledgments, we want
to question the ways that we materially

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take on the work of
decolonization in arts and literary publishing. In a

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forthcoming interview with Ts’msyen
scholar and activist Dr. Robin Gray on

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rematriation and place naming,
TCR Associate Editor Susan Blight reminds

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us that in a decolonial context,
any act of representation should also pose,

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"a significant question about
ownership, jurisdiction, and sovereignty."

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In our work dealing with the
cultural context of representation, writing,

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naming, and depicting in the
arts, we endeavour to keep these significant

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material questions at the fore. The
Capilano Review is a 52-year-old nonprofit

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literary and visual arts
journal based in Vancouver. Originally

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founded by artist Pierre Coupey at
Capilano College in 1972 and independent

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since 2015, the review is dedicated
to experimentation across genres, media,

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boundaries, and forms, with
particular emphasis on promoting dialogue between

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the literary and visual arts.
Alongside our publishing program, we also partner

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with other organizations in the city,
like the Western Front, to offer a variety of

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year-round public programs,
including this monthly reading series, an annual

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writer-in-residence program,
numerous writing contests, workshops, and

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educational initiatives. All this
being said, our work as a community-driven

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nonprofit continues to be precarious,
and we rely more and more every year on the

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generous support of our donors
and subscribers. So if you appreciate the

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work that we do both on and
off the page, we invite you to consider

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extending your support for the
Capilano Review before you leave this evening,

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either by purchasing a $35 print
subscription to our beautiful magazine,

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or by making a direct donation to become
a friend of TCR. Our Arts Editor, Jacquelyn,

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will be happy to chat with you or
assist you at our book table beside the bar. And

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of course, if you're not able to
contribute in these ways, we would still

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appreciate it if you would
consider sharing the magazine with

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your family and friends, or bringing
them along to one of these readings. We still

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have two more this year. Tonight,
we're delighted to introduce the work by

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resident artist Jonathan Alfaro,
who's here with us tonight. Jonathan has

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produced a new series of monotype
prints entitled Daylight Lover, especially for

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this program inspired by the
imagined flourishes that might be found in the

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margins of love letters. The work
from this series on view tonight is titled

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"Avocado Stones." Thank you,
Jonathan, for bringing your work into this reading

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space, and we look forward to the
series continued unfolding over the remaining

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two events. I'd like to extend a
huge thank you to the Western Front for being

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such generous and supportive
partners on the series, now for two

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seasons, and in particular, Susan Gibb
and Kiel Torres, who organized the series with

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myself and Art Editor Jacquelyn Zhong-Li Ross, 
Technical Manager Ben Wilson,

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Videographer Qiuli Wu, and NK Photo.
I'd also like to thank our Managing Editor

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Katherine Gear Chambers, and finally
the BC Arts Council for its generous support

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of our out-of-town authors. And
some quick housekeeping before we get

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on with the evening. Each of our
three readers tonight will be presenting for

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about 20 minutes with no
intermission. There are two all-gender washrooms

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located downstairs in the foyer and
one up here on this floor. We acknowledge

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that this physical space is not
currently wheelchair accessible, so to

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everyone currently attending by
livestream, thank you for being patient

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with us while we continue to work
through all the necessary steps to make

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a large-scale upgrade to this
historic building a reality. And so with that, I

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will introduce our first reader
for tonight. Our first reader is one of the

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giantesses of the Vancouver
scene, so named by Lisa Robertson and Catriona

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Strang, and a 1992 issue Front
Magazine. I first met Rhoda Rosenfeld in the early

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spring of 2017 when I quote-unquote
interviewed her, Maxine Gadde, and Trudy

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Rubenfeld, though I was just as much
the interviewee as I was the interviewer in

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that conversation. What struck me
about Rhoda was the way that she makes

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conversation happen around her,
as much through her incisive sense of

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observation and sometimes gentle
yet firm refusal, as through her generous,

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curious, expansive listening.
There's something of this essence in her writing

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as well, the ways in which
spaces and silences welcome us into

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conversation, and the ways that
forms, voices, nouns, elements, and images all

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vibrate together in dissonance
and dialogue. Rhoda Rosenfeld is a visual

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artist and poet born in Tio’tia’ke/Mooniyang, 
Montreal, Canada, and based on the unceded

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territories of the Musqueam, Squamish,
and Tsleil-Waututh Nations in Vancouver, Canada.

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Her work attends to perception,
consciousness, behaviour, transformation,

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chance, and the indivisible. Here's Rhoda.

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[Applause]

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Thank you so much, Deanna, and
thank you everybody for being here, and also

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everybody who's watching at home.
Thanks to the Western Front, everyone has

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greeted us so warmly, and it's a lot
of fun being here and seeing old friends.

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It's been a long time since I've
been in this room, but there were many, many

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events that I did attend here, and
I'm so grateful to all the artists, all the

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writers and performers and
visual artists who did what they did here. I

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just think we're so lucky to have
all this culture, so thank you all. My work

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here is the second part of a
piece called "Zettel," which means "notes" 

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in German and Yiddish, and my work is
fragmentary. I like to think of them, I

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like to call them sutra, sort of
aphorisms and little bits of thought and

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knowledge, and in this particular
piece, little bits that I call shorter stories,

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some of them memoir, which is new
for me. So this is the second half of that piece. 

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[Poem Begins]
I heard a knock on my back
door last night. It was a gang of spirits

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demanding to have a party. October
20th, 2020. 

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[pause]
What I wanted to say was the
word "suture" comes from sutra, and
I think when reading or listening, we're

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sewing the pieces together. 
[Poem Begins Again]
I heard a knock on my door, on my back door last

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night. It was a gang of spirits
demanding to have a party. October 20th, 2020.

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Day, stay, fine dust, little
rhythms, stride piano and slide guitar.

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Ethel Wilson, Sheila Watson and their
Fisher women. By honouring her, she who said,

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"big wash" when I was out hanging a
pair of socks on the clothesline. Nothing

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explains fate. Will you sit? Drawing is writing with a D.

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Kiyooka notoriously resists the nouning of identity.

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Tavline Puroval. His sculptures were
maquettes for large scale. He told me so.

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Sunlight on river stones. I'm
planning my getaway. It's those walls, they hold us

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all. The perforated location includes
a three-point perspective grid, or a corner

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into which the subject has
painted myself, with silver nitrate and gum

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Arabic. The light recording
properties of silver salts, its uncomplaining

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susceptibility to accident. Virginia
Woolf. What damage the art of photography has

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inflicted upon the art of literature
has yet to be reckoned. Dances with words.

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The distance from point-to-point in stereo
image is 61 millimetres. Meanwhile, near the corner

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of McCall and Dundas, a dance is set
inside some DJL light bulbs. The audience hears the

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vibratory molecules all the way to Lac des Sables.
Some are clip-offs. Or a walk for those two people

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still on stilts. Precariously, one begins from
Queen and Spadina, the other from Queen and Church.

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But that hour did not come till 33 years later. Mapped
for yttrium, the chemical element yttrium of atomic number 39.

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A grayish-white metal
generally included among the rare earth elements.

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Elsewhere, their words don't coincide with what they say.

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So there's a grievement over a
few characteristics and contingencies.

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Atar. War power and failure of Congress to
override the veto, so that speculation still in Saigon.

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That was then. Talks earlier this month.

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Extra security forces when students protesting
surprise Israeli attacks on Lebanon. That was then.

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No sign of a slowdown of a Soviet buildup in Europe.
Then. When now, the only currency. When now, new variants of concern

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and direct circumambulations and fear in advance either.

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Like when the sweet birds sing. Sedent-ly.

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She drops a bomb and then she leaves for the
blockade chain called Kimia. Art of transmuting metals.

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But if you're really looking
for them, they're situated under a

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chokecherry tree and appear
to be listening to a very sorry horn.

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When the photophonics were Quebec, and anti-eva, the lion hearted.

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One of my mother's wanted something because she
understood, like one of my other mothers, that I was an artist.

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What she wanted was the painting, the
one my friend suggested I take to her father.

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I took him to, but he didn't want. Not he, but another
near him scoffed. What is that a bruise? What is that a bruise?

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Dostoyevsky. After all, an insult is purification.
It is the most caustic and painful form of consciousness.

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Here we had a few more hertz. That's HZ.

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When we had the fire, I was eight. You were
nine months old. It was in the icy dead of March.

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Arlene and I were in the middle
of a piano lesson with Mr. Kuczynski.

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Ma always tells how slowly he put his galoshes on
while black smoke billowed out from under the pantry door.

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Unless I told them with my own eyes.

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Sometimes my father used snakeskin, and alligator skin.

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But I can't find my staple gun, or my sight again.

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Please send me a piece of cedar.

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Death is not black. It is blue. 
And it takes my breath away.

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Meanwhile me, I must have been flying under the radar
with Oscar Peterson and Charlie Biddle over the beach at Okinawa,

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when an eagle and two seagulls
show up high above Hawks Avenue, inside a

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gray iris with a yellow and pink
circumference around the pupil of the sun.

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Such is significance. 
Or a circumvential arc whose
hesitation is not lost for nothing on the jittery wind.

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Hemp Hill, Temple Bell, Broomfield.

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Nice day, eh? Beautiful little day.

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Eric Dolphy's on Green Dolphin Street 
with sweet potatoes and beet leaves.

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So this is a Blocqui.

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That ragged edge is not subconscious.
It's the ecstasy of frenzy caused by desire,

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of the unattainable on the horns of a
dilemma, though not quite so neuromorphic.

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Not to mention the yellow cab at the curb in the rain on the drive 
and as God is my spectacular, someone shows up.

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Willie Dunn.

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In which, the day of the Cuban Missile
Crisis, I became an artist to myself. 1961.

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I was deeply agitated. I was a student at
McGill. I spent most of my time at the library.

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That day, I walked upstairs to
the Fine Arts Library on the second floor.

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I was there illegitimately with my
heart beating, with only the inner voice

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of micro frequencies returning space
to water and God to theory to speak with.

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I went to the shelves. I found Goya.

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Listening to the pickles ferment.

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We call, and we call upon the Government of
Canada. We call in the name of every tetragrammaton.

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I love the words "six nations of the Grand River."

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What's buried beneath the car park?

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The emergence of metallurgy may have
occurred first in the Fertile Crescent,

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the earliest use of lead from the late
Neolithic settlement of Yarim Tepe in Iraq.

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Fines of pure silver at Ur, the mountains of Armenia.

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In the Caucasus, alluvial deposits were worked by
washing over a layer of fleeces. The gold particles would adhere to

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the grease in the wool, hence the
basis of the legend of the golden fleece.

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There being a fire in the middle of the road 
outside our door, just like in "Dersu Uzala."

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Summer Frechette.

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A damselfly landed in my blue gouache.

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I lifted it out on the back of a brush and then used
the wet tip of another brush to wash its wings of the paint.

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It flew away, and then came back and bit my lip.

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The day goes down, rebuffed.

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Sueda l'épate, merci all'en.


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A proposal.

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Put the metal you extracted
back into the ground. Call it "intraction."

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The river water is overwrought.

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There was once a blind woman, who through a
near-death experience was able to see spherically, spherical vision.

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The six doors of perception,
that's what I've been trying to tell you.

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The phenomenal display of life.

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I watch a single isolated photon hang in the air.

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Have we represented ourselves out of existence?

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Mugworts, a herbal oneirogen.

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Surely all this.

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Something about breaking into the attic of fulfillment.

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Julian Barnes.

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Margaret Avison adapted into English from Hungarian.

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From the literal translations of Ilona Duczynska,
a poem called "Farm at Dark on the Great Plain" by Ferenc Juhasz.

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Thoughts of Belitar.

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Look out in the day. Look in, in the night.

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And listen.

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Poetry is not communication. It's a form of intimacy.

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[Poem Ends]
Thank you.

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[Applause]
Thank you so much, Rhoda. 
And so wonderful to be woven into all of that.

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The work of our next reader, Tina Doe,
came to us by way of our open call for submissions.

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Her poems that appear in the forthcoming
"Real Materials" issue, which will be here any day now,

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indeed helped us to distill our
aspirations for the theme of this issue.

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Through their finely grained
attunement to the senses, to memory and

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its lopsided attention, to the
indelible impact of words and phrases.

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Indeed, notions of proximity, focus and
framing became central to our curatorial process,

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and were indebted to Tina for the ways
that her writing brought these ideas to the fore.

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Tina Doe is a poet based on the
unceded traditional ancestral territories of the

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Tsleil-Waututh, Squamish, Kwaquitlum
and Musqueam nations of Vancouver, Canada.

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00:23:14.750 --> 00:23:17.541
Her poetry, which delves
into themes of introspection, love,

201
00:23:17.750 --> 00:23:23.291
relationships, reflects on
oft inconsequential minutia of life,

202
00:23:23.916 --> 00:23:27.541
grapples with questions such as: "What does
it mean to love the people and places around us?"

203
00:23:27.541 --> 00:23:32.000
You can find her work in the team's review, Best Canadian

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00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:36.458
Poetry, Canadian Literature,
Room Magazine, and Cantheus. Here is Tina.
[Applause]


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00:23:45.541 --> 00:23:50.416
Hi, can everyone hear me okay? Okay, got it. Thumbs. Okay.

206
00:23:51.541 --> 00:23:56.541
Thank you to everyone for
coming out as a shut-in myself. I know it's

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00:23:56.541 --> 00:24:01.208
sometimes hard to leave the
house, especially when it's hot outside.

208
00:24:01.583 --> 00:24:05.291
So I'm really grateful for all
my friends and family that are here, for

209
00:24:05.291 --> 00:24:09.375
all the strangers or not yet
strangers that are sharing the space with me.

210
00:24:10.041 --> 00:24:18.541
I'm also super grateful to be sharing this space
with incredible artists like Jonathan and Rhoda and Jerry.

211
00:24:19.541 --> 00:24:29.041
I'm so excited, and also honoured, but also really
nervous because this is my first reading. So, thank you.
[Applause, Cheering]

212
00:24:34.541 --> 00:24:37.333
So yeah, I hope this goes okay.
If not, you will never see me again.

213
00:24:39.291 --> 00:24:45.541
So in the spirit of "Dear Friends &" the poems I'm
reading tonight are from a series I'm calling "The After Poems."

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00:24:46.541 --> 00:24:52.375
So they're poems written in response to other
poems that I've read that have touched me as a reader.

215
00:24:53.708 --> 00:25:06.083
They're also pieces sort of written after events or
things in my life. So interactions, material things.

216
00:25:06.083 --> 00:25:13.541
Endings of friendships or relationships, or, you know, your neighbour's
stealing your packages, because that's the thing that happens.

217
00:25:15.583 --> 00:25:21.833
So my first poem is called 
"When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a List of Things My Mother Hates."

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00:25:22.750 --> 00:25:31.000
[Poem Begins]
"When I grow up, I Want To Be a List of Things My Mother Hates 
after Chen Chen."

219
00:25:32.625 --> 00:25:35.541
A 2 a.m. shower, and sleeping with wet hair.

220
00:25:36.541 --> 00:25:41.958
The party girl out late with
friends and home after dawn. 

221
00:25:41.958 --> 00:25:47.250
The drunk call home. The loud entrance.
The clatter of keys on the kitchen table.

222
00:25:48.583 --> 00:25:50.500
The small blueberries only dad will eat.

223
00:25:52.583 --> 00:25:56.541
The last glob of rice in the bowl. Unwashed rice.

224
00:25:57.541 --> 00:26:05.708
The burnt rice I kept making that week she left me in charge. 
The unreliable one.

225
00:26:06.958 --> 00:26:13.916
The unpredictable rainstorm all thunder and
lightning and dark skies and maelstrom. The selfish one.

226
00:26:14.791 --> 00:26:19.750
The one she didn't raise me to be. 
A hurricane. The eye of the storm.

227
00:26:19.750 --> 00:26:22.541
Full catastrophe, damage measured on the Fujita scale.

228
00:26:23.541 --> 00:26:28.750
The witty retort when she says: "you are never going to find someone to love you like
this."

229
00:26:28.750 --> 00:26:33.250
Not like that. Not in that way.

230
00:26:34.833 --> 00:26:39.500
The lonely hour. The impossible grass stain to remove after

231
00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:43.541
rolling around in the dirt.
Mud tracks on white tile floors.

232
00:26:44.541 --> 00:26:55.541
The expensive night out. The questionable purchase.
The shoes thrown away before the tread wears out.

233
00:26:55.541 --> 00:27:02.541
Far from everything that is close to here.
Somebody. Anybody. Somebody's body to call home.

234
00:27:03.541 --> 00:27:13.541
The tidal wave. The darkness. The crow
at dusk calling, not here, not here, not here.

235
00:27:17.958 --> 00:27:25.166
Text I never sent because I
was busy overthinking after Benny Shao.

236
00:27:27.708 --> 00:27:36.541
I want to kill my coworker, before the stress
of her kills me. If I die tomorrow it was her fault.

237
00:27:37.541 --> 00:27:48.375
At the scene of the crime you'll find the stupid reading
glasses that she needs but never wears. I'm running away. 

238
00:27:48.375 --> 00:27:53.541
I'll send you postcards with cryptic coded messages 
to let you know what being not here is like.

239
00:27:53.583 --> 00:28:06.083
I didn't finish "The Titanic" in order to pretend that
everyone lives, even Fabrizio. The boat doesn't sink, 

240
00:28:06.083 --> 00:28:11.541
and Tommy doesn't get shot, and the door is big enough two
float to people. 
It was, "Myth Busters" did an episode on it.

241
00:28:15.125 --> 00:28:20.333
And really, Jack was being just a little stupid,
Because sure, it might be beautiful

242
00:28:20.333 --> 00:28:25.541
to love someone enough to die,
but I think it's much harder to love someone enough to live.

243
00:28:26.541 --> 00:28:38.583
I'm scared to be alone forever. Some days, 
I imagine someone who laughs when I get angry at bad movies,

244
00:28:38.583 --> 00:28:44.708
and gets rid of spiders for me when they scurry across
the floor. 
In some universe there is someone who

245
00:28:44.708 --> 00:28:49.541
enables my bike short addiction 
and doesn't mind that I'm overly attached to my air fryer.

246
00:28:50.541 --> 00:29:00.833
But everyone I know leaves, and leaves, and leaves, 
and the spiders just live, and live, and live, and it's arachnophobia

247
00:29:00.833 --> 00:29:08.458
or eight legged freaks all over again. And mom let me watch
those movies way too early, and I probably still need therapy.

248
00:29:09.958 --> 00:29:14.541
And I don't know what it means when
it's easier to imagine myself dead, than in love.

249
00:29:20.708 --> 00:29:24.375
"Conversations with Dad After My Dear Friend Natalie Lim."

250
00:29:27.541 --> 00:29:37.416
I hit a car today and didn't know how to say that I
don't think I can love someone else because sometimes

251
00:29:37.416 --> 00:29:43.541
I forget to hit the brakes in time,
to let myself slow to a stop at a red light.

252
00:29:44.541 --> 00:29:49.208
What if I like being alone too much, to let someone else in?

253
00:29:50.833 --> 00:29:59.750
What if I only know how to hold someone the way a
seat belt grips a body? 
Tight and unrelenting,

254
00:29:59.750 --> 00:30:07.541
harsh and uncomfortable. 
What if I forget to eat until you hold
out a bowl of rice? 
What if I don't know how to say thank you?

255
00:30:08.541 --> 00:30:14.750
What if I write and all that comes
out is grief or an earthquake? 

256
00:30:14.750 --> 00:30:19.958
Some terrible shattered thing? 
What if I am grief, or an earthquake, and a terrible shattered thing?

257
00:30:22.583 --> 00:30:28.541
What if I forget to hold your hand to cross the
street? 
What if your knees still ache in the morning?

258
00:30:29.541 --> 00:30:34.041
What if I'm still spinning, and the wheel is stuck,

259
00:30:34.041 --> 00:30:37.166
and the brakes aren't working 
and there's broken glass and I am the earthquake?

260
00:30:39.250 --> 00:30:49.541
What if I leave and forget to ask if you've eaten
yet? What if you forget to eat? What if you forget to eat?

261
00:30:49.625 --> 00:30:57.000
Tomorrow is a conversation I never have.

262
00:31:00.500 --> 00:31:06.875
The house across from ours has the same
address, and won't stop stealing our packages.

263
00:31:08.916 --> 00:31:12.500
I knock on their door and show
them the picture the postman uploaded

264
00:31:12.500 --> 00:31:16.541
for a textbook that I never read 
for a class I maybe regret taking.

265
00:31:16.541 --> 00:31:23.583
We don't have a white fence since our
landlord doesn't think it will deter robbers.

266
00:31:25.166 --> 00:31:32.166
But one summer she told the whole block we were going
on vacation and someone stole the car right from the driveway.

267
00:31:33.416 --> 00:31:37.541
You said the license plate was
in the glove box, of the stolen car.

268
00:31:37.583 --> 00:31:43.958
Our car is found a week later,
three blocks away on Shaughnessy Street.

269
00:31:44.625 --> 00:31:48.083
The stereo ripped out and your
favourite power drill missing from the trunk.

270
00:31:48.958 --> 00:31:52.708
You said not to replace it for
Christmas that year because saving my money

271
00:31:52.708 --> 00:31:58.958
was better so I don't tell you 
I spent it on people, who may not love me.

272
00:32:01.083 --> 00:32:03.541
Mom stalks across the street
when I tell her my book is missing.

273
00:32:04.541 --> 00:32:12.875
After she gets it back, she starts a feud with them,
rakes an overwhelmingly large pile of leaves onto their dry

274
00:32:12.875 --> 00:32:17.916
parking spot in the fall, and
shovels snow on top of the pile in the winter.

275
00:32:18.958 --> 00:32:22.708
But she spends so long outside, she gives herself iceberg.

276
00:32:24.625 --> 00:32:31.541
You rub your son into her aching knees and tell
me it's best not to pick fights when you can avoid them.

277
00:32:32.541 --> 00:32:40.541
Google tells me Hanoi is 10,818 kilometres from Vancouver.

278
00:32:42.291 --> 00:32:48.333
I don't ask if you ever want to go back, or if
you miss your sisters, or if you regret marrying mom.

279
00:32:49.791 --> 00:32:56.833
When the bank asks me to set up your security questions, 
I write "Hanoi" as your birthplace, like I'm the one who knows

280
00:32:56.833 --> 00:33:00.541
what it means to leave everything,
to treat videos on YouTube like snapshots

281
00:33:01.541 --> 00:33:04.041
of a life you can't return to.

282
00:33:05.083 --> 00:33:08.916
The yao san nai order for you is stolen across the street.

283
00:33:10.541 --> 00:33:14.125
Tomorrow, I'll go to that house to ask for it.

284
00:33:15.375 --> 00:33:18.041
Tomorrow, I'll come back with something that's ours.

285
00:33:21.583 --> 00:33:22.833
[Pauses Poem]
My leg is cramping, I'm sorry.

286
00:33:24.916 --> 00:33:28.250
[Begins Poem]
Okay, "Back in a Minute, After Jane Chi."

287
00:33:30.875 --> 00:33:37.041
Hey, Kelce. It's been a minute.
Four years can count as a minute, right?

288
00:33:38.375 --> 00:33:42.541
I was wondering if you still wanted 
to go to the beach with me.

289
00:33:43.291 --> 00:33:47.083
Last night, as I was standing
in the shower and looking up at the

290
00:33:47.083 --> 00:33:52.541
ceiling, my face started to grow
remembering the taste of the ocean.

291
00:33:52.583 --> 00:34:01.083
And suddenly, I'm sitting on your scratchy couch again,
watching that documentary about whales

292
00:34:01.083 --> 00:34:06.583
eating that pizza with olives and barbecue sauce 
you liked from Domino's because you hated pineapples.

293
00:34:08.625 --> 00:34:13.541
Do you still hate pineapples? Wait, I'm screwing this up.

294
00:34:13.583 --> 00:34:21.916
What I mean is that people once thought the coelacanth
died out with the dinosaurs, and the sunfish can lay up to 300

295
00:34:21.916 --> 00:34:26.041
million eggs at once,
and the narwhals tusk, is actually a tooth.

296
00:34:26.875 --> 00:34:31.750
And whales grieve, and I grieve
and you probably don't want to hear that.

297
00:34:32.541 --> 00:34:35.541
And, I still can't use metaphors.

298
00:34:35.583 --> 00:34:41.375
I mean, I still don't know how
to swim, but I'd learn if you wanted.

299
00:34:43.333 --> 00:34:50.875
In 2018, more than 150 whales became stranded on an
Australian beach and hundreds of people tried to save them.

300
00:34:51.500 --> 00:35:00.541
The last mass stranding of whales in Australia
happened in 1996, involving 320 long-finned pilot whales.

301
00:35:01.541 --> 00:35:05.708
Sorry, I'm probably annoying you again.

302
00:35:06.958 --> 00:35:11.458
I meant to say that it's
okay if you don't remember anything.

303
00:35:12.458 --> 00:35:19.541
If you don't care for swimming anymore,
or the way I breathe through my mouth and not my nose, 

304
00:35:19.541 --> 00:35:24.583
or that I crawled through tide pools last week 
in search of a hymn to sing to the God in the ocean.

305
00:35:25.833 --> 00:35:26.291
That's okay.

306
00:35:27.125 --> 00:35:27.541
I won't mind.

307
00:35:27.541 --> 00:35:32.166
I won't try and find someone else to replace you.

308
00:35:33.041 --> 00:35:37.666
I've held this song for so long
that I've forgotten to come back up for air.

309
00:35:39.375 --> 00:35:44.500
Maybe the reason we never made it off
the beach is because it's a lot scarier 

310
00:35:44.500 --> 00:35:50.833
to swim alone than it is to hold the
body of grief above your head and wait to sink.

311
00:35:52.458 --> 00:35:54.541
It's that way for everything, right?

312
00:35:55.541 --> 00:36:01.041
Beach whales suffer the greatest of pains when their bellies

313
00:36:01.041 --> 00:36:04.916
kiss the land in some hollow
repetition of a memory never made.

314
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:11.541
The solid surface causes their
chests to collapse, their organs to compress.

315
00:36:12.541 --> 00:36:17.958
It's 3.27 a.m. and I'm still staring up at the ceiling.

316
00:36:18.750 --> 00:36:27.000
I think you still live on that house on Trutch and 14th
with the bench on the porch, that has the slightly wide panels.

317
00:36:28.041 --> 00:36:31.541
I maybe drove by it last week or last year or a minute ago.

318
00:36:31.541 --> 00:36:40.833
I wish we could go to the beach and lie on the sand
collecting sunburns and seashells like we did that one summer.

319
00:36:41.791 --> 00:36:43.833
This time I'll even go into the water.

320
00:36:45.500 --> 00:36:53.375
Maybe we can hold a song in our fingers, and pretend our
bodies are a prayer to the ocean, or some God whose many arms

321
00:36:53.375 --> 00:36:58.541
hold us up, weightless enough
to breach the waves and come back up.

322
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:05.166
We'll be swimming for a long time, won't we?

323
00:37:10.458 --> 00:37:12.458
"On Praying, After Human Win."

324
00:37:16.666 --> 00:37:21.958
All my life I've watched my
mother contemplate an entrance,

325
00:37:21.958 --> 00:37:28.083
hovering between a conversation and a doorway, 
her sleep fitful and uncertain.

326
00:37:29.541 --> 00:37:36.041
I imagine in her dreams her smile
stretches wide and tall enough to reach the sky.

327
00:37:37.708 --> 00:37:40.666
I feel most like her daughter when I am drowning.

328
00:37:41.791 --> 00:37:46.541
Dragged by her under a tidal
gathering of people I loved, then stopped loving.

329
00:37:47.541 --> 00:37:53.291
In our near past,
my mother unwraps relics she brought from Vietnam

330
00:37:53.291 --> 00:37:58.416
and hands me the small jade figurine of a God 
I never learned to pray to.

331
00:38:00.083 --> 00:38:04.458
I throw it in the kitchen sink, 
watch its weight shatter the mountain of dishes

332
00:38:04.458 --> 00:38:08.541
and settle alongside the cilantro I spit out of my rice.

333
00:38:09.541 --> 00:38:16.958
I cannot stand the taste of it,
which is a cowardly way of saying:

334
00:38:16.958 --> 00:38:21.625
"I do not know how to make my body
remember I have been loved my whole life."

335
00:38:23.666 --> 00:38:29.125
If faith is what anchors us to the living,
then most days mother and I are treading

336
00:38:29.125 --> 00:38:34.541
water held together by a threadbare
shirt she can never bring herself to throw away.

337
00:38:35.541 --> 00:38:41.083
All my life I've gnawed at the frayed tethers of her hope.

338
00:38:42.416 --> 00:38:45.125
The water only knows how to swallow my prayers.

339
00:38:46.041 --> 00:38:50.541
When she is gone, who will crunch my name between their teeth?

340
00:38:51.541 --> 00:38:58.041
I've tried my hardest to build the sound of a Pacific in her mouth.

341
00:38:58.666 --> 00:39:04.666
Press her cheeks together, drag her
jaw to shoreline, rub sea salt on her lips.

342
00:39:05.833 --> 00:39:09.500
The salmon are plentiful beneath her tongue, 

343
00:39:09.500 --> 00:39:12.541
and I hold her body still,
so she can feel the water crash against her teeth.

344
00:39:12.583 --> 00:39:22.250
Taste the violence, the yearning, the unbearable belief 
while algal blooms run softly on the surface of the water.

345
00:39:23.958 --> 00:39:32.541
I imagine our bodies meeting in the same way but some
small God in my small head tells me: "little one, you are not needed."

346
00:39:32.541 --> 00:39:39.541
and the voice is loud and tempting, and all my little loves 
are buoyant with joy and my body feels heavy at the surface.

347
00:39:40.541 --> 00:39:48.000
And sometimes, I want to stop treading 
and today is indescribably scary.

348
00:39:49.750 --> 00:39:53.125
So I want to be anywhere by the water.

349
00:39:54.541 --> 00:39:57.125
I don't know what I want.

350
00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:01.541
I feel furthest away from mother
when I think of faith as a destination.

351
00:40:02.541 --> 00:40:06.750
The cream-colored house
across the way with the rust red roof

352
00:40:06.750 --> 00:40:11.083
and the metal gate that closes 
so no one can steal our mail.

353
00:40:12.958 --> 00:40:15.375
Mother prays, and I tell her I do the same.

354
00:40:16.500 --> 00:40:22.583
I guess by praying I'm saying: 'one day I want to eat cilantro
like it belongs in my body."

355
00:40:23.833 --> 00:40:28.541
One day I'll hold a God between my fingers and 
feel the full weight of a tender love.

356
00:40:28.583 --> 00:40:31.333
I can't figure out how to name.

357
00:40:32.875 --> 00:40:40.833
In this present, mother stands at the kitchen sink,
holding a dirty dish in each hand while I hold metaphors in mine.

358
00:40:43.291 --> 00:40:47.916
Tomorrow I learn to pray to a God I might not believe in.

359
00:40:48.500 --> 00:40:51.750
Hover between a conversation and a doorway.

360
00:40:53.666 --> 00:40:56.541
I stare at the door, and swallow it.

361
00:40:57.541 --> 00:40:59.041
Thank you.
[Applause, Cheering]

362
00:41:11.541 --> 00:41:13.750
Okay, thank you so much Tina.

363
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.125
I dare say there will be other poetry readings.

364
00:41:18.291 --> 00:41:20.541
Yeah, I'm sure. That was wonderful.

365
00:41:21.541 --> 00:41:25.708
Okay, our final reader
tonight, Gerry Shikatani, is a writer

366
00:41:25.708 --> 00:41:30.291
whose work has been hugely impactful
on me as a reader, and a lover of poetry.

367
00:41:31.791 --> 00:41:41.375
For the way that it deals in a kind of overall concreteness 
of sound, of visuality, of language, of image, and of place

368
00:41:41.375 --> 00:41:47.541
with absolute reverence for, and delight in,
each of these elements in their unrepeatable specificity.

369
00:41:48.541 --> 00:41:52.583
Gerry had a long relationship with the Capilano Review,

370
00:41:52.958 --> 00:41:57.125
publishing "Three Gardens of Andalusia," the first book in a triptych project.

371
00:41:58.666 --> 00:42:08.541
Mortar, Rake, Glove, Sausanne, Broom, Basin, Sansui, as
a special double issue of the review in 2003, way back when.

372
00:42:09.541 --> 00:42:14.625
Most recently he published a
selection of poems from Niwa, the second

373
00:42:14.625 --> 00:42:19.208
book in that series in our spring 2023 issue titled: 
"It is what it is."

374
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:25.583
Gerry Shikitani is a writer based
in Toronto, Canada. Since 1970, 

375
00:42:25.583 --> 00:42:29.541
his works have ranged from the textual, visual, oral performance to experimental film.

376
00:42:30.541 --> 00:42:37.458
He's the co-editor of the seminal anthology of
Japanese-Canadian poetry, "Paper Doors," and has created documentaries and

377
00:42:37.458 --> 00:42:44.625
commentaries for CBC Radio, and published articles
on travel, sports, and gastronomy across Canada and abroad.

378
00:42:46.458 --> 00:42:52.541
An international dining critic and a commentator and
expert on all things Spanish, Shikitani is the founding director

379
00:42:52.541 --> 00:42:56.541
of a writers retreat in Granada, Spain,
honoring Federico Garcia Lorca.

380
00:42:56.541 --> 00:43:04.375
He holds Spain's official cross in the order of
civilian merit granted by the King of Spain. Here's Gerry.
[Applause, Cheering]

381
00:43:34.750 --> 00:43:36.875
From Niwa, in the gardens, Japan.

382
00:43:38.666 --> 00:43:48.125
Santo Goso. I must stand the purple irises clunt to the
water's edge. I must stand the flowers of green grocers always,

383
00:43:48.500 --> 00:43:53.541
those for the dead, the packet of
crystals to prolong life, the Sunday returns to home.

384
00:43:54.750 --> 00:44:01.666
To choose such blooms find the vase,
that they stand bristle, upright, otolosan, okaasan.

385
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:09.083
Mom and pop, respectfully. 
I must stand the tall irises pawns' fine edge.

386
00:44:11.541 --> 00:44:22.958
Number 11, text 11. 
Twine to the post, to post, what's this life? 
Covered, cordwood, good piss, to knot, taught by knots.

387
00:44:22.958 --> 00:44:27.541
bamboo arch from curve to curve, 
moon's crescent a bridge of stone, or wisteria.

388
00:44:32.166 --> 00:44:43.541
From Ryōan-ji Temple, in Kyoto. Text 12. 
A text to crosshatch a line, the test of strength of paucity, empty basket.

389
00:44:47.333 --> 00:44:55.250
Text 13. Cross hatched, birthed the
suppleness of bamboo, the tie to strengthen

390
00:44:55.250 --> 00:45:01.250
no duplicity, lotus wet intermittent rain,
leaves brushed raindrops to shoulders, suddenly.

391
00:45:12.666 --> 00:45:22.541
Text 33. Barely tipped but. 
Number 34. Barely tipped but.

392
00:45:22.541 --> 00:45:32.625
Text 34. Camellia, barely tipped but. 
Azalea. 35. Barely but.

393
00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:55.208
Number 59. It is here, on this sweep of fine white sand,
death intercedes, the trail of Shigaraki ash lifts. 

394
00:45:55.208 --> 00:46:02.541
Moss, heavy hoisted rock, pink June azaleas,
held this flat stone to traverse over water.

395
00:46:04.541 --> 00:46:21.875
Number 107. These gardens built into and upon
the mountains, fenced with tied bamboo, log, the rocks which

396
00:46:21.875 --> 00:46:28.916
lead down across and to points of view
azaleas, hydrangeas, cultivated for centuries.

397
00:46:30.208 --> 00:46:34.708
Through such gardens do we
realize or see in dappled light

398
00:46:34.708 --> 00:46:40.375
the natural, the growth of things, the
changes from hot June sun to heavy rain.

399
00:46:40.958 --> 00:46:50.208
Let us smell with more intensity the sense of new pine
shoots after rain. See how trees bend and sway through seasonal growth, 

400
00:46:50.208 --> 00:46:54.708
provide the chance to views mountains and wordless

401
00:46:54.708 --> 00:46:58.541
with our loved companions
or mourn deeply like a millionaire.

402
00:46:59.916 --> 00:47:01.041
The treasure of solitude.

403
00:47:06.250 --> 00:47:17.750
125. Let me take you out on the boat across the sands.
The salt, stories sedimented to the thirst transformed by sweet peaks.

404
00:47:17.750 --> 00:47:24.458
Let me take you out on the skiff, 
navigating around reflections

405
00:47:24.458 --> 00:47:30.541
and puddles of trees, the bodaiji,
the lives floating past, fallen from trees.

406
00:47:30.583 --> 00:47:38.708
I warn you, I am only a romantic, 
a novice boatsman at best. Pay me a dime if you'd like.

407
00:47:55.333 --> 00:48:02.750
127. In the sea of white
gravel, coy still come, puckering open mouths

408
00:48:02.750 --> 00:48:08.541
as overhead in the bodaiji, 
singing birds are shot everywhere.

409
00:48:08.583 --> 00:48:16.250
Fall bloodied to ground, and young infants in town
are gutted, readied for market.

410
00:48:39.416 --> 00:48:50.833
A text titled: "Journal from Roy's" or simply, "At Roy's." Mentioning Roy Kiyooka.

411
00:49:03.750 --> 00:49:12.916
And this pear. The adjectival pear. Ripe fruit and frivol, in fact, presides the window's sill.

412
00:49:13.791 --> 00:49:15.916
Ha ha. Sill.

413
00:49:17.708 --> 00:49:27.666
Two. Setback right. Upright. The mattress slept upon. Assert its lean against the wall at Roy's pack up and leaving.

414
00:49:27.916 --> 00:49:35.291
To put mattress back as found and to fold sheets, pillowcases, blankets. A passage piled. Pile.

415
00:49:35.708 --> 00:49:42.666
A paragraph's period to this point is, the resting on the floor, infinitive to comma, somaste.

416
00:49:45.125 --> 00:49:48.541
Coat hangers, buried in their sway, the closet doors

417
00:49:48.708 --> 00:49:49.708
accordion folding.

418
00:49:52.041 --> 00:49:53.791
Fold back, back.

419
00:49:55.916 --> 00:49:57.916
The curtains pulled wide to the back gardens,

420
00:49:58.791 --> 00:49:59.916
Keefer Street, Chinatown.

421
00:50:01.291 --> 00:50:03.833
Bamboo trees leaned their poles and leafy shades

422
00:50:03.958 --> 00:50:07.375
over this out front garden path, Keefer Street, Chinatown,

423
00:50:08.125 --> 00:50:08.500
Chinatown.

424
00:50:10.291 --> 00:50:13.291
She always enters a paper, folded in your pocket.

425
00:50:14.125 --> 00:50:17.625
Mother, who'd given
addresses where she'd lived as a B.C. girl,

426
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:21.375
scribbled onto scrap paper, Powell Street across from

427
00:50:21.375 --> 00:50:22.041
Powell Ground.

428
00:50:23.166 --> 00:50:24.750
Now it's called Oppenheimer Park.

429
00:50:24.750 --> 00:50:26.750
You'll later report this fact to her.

430
00:50:27.583 --> 00:50:31.041
Two addresses rebuilt place, the so gone is.

431
00:50:32.125 --> 00:50:35.375
Early sun, the change took days over, cast.

432
00:50:36.208 --> 00:50:39.625
Nogger coffee in these
hands, only this Powell Street autumn

433
00:50:39.708 --> 00:50:42.208
morning outside the still Vancouver.

434
00:50:42.833 --> 00:50:46.541
Little Tokyo once morning, only her new plumbered heart,

435
00:50:46.541 --> 00:50:50.458
which saved her life, what angina becomes as pain and clog

436
00:50:50.458 --> 00:50:53.625
in Toronto, though these buildings on Powell Street

437
00:50:53.791 --> 00:50:56.416
utter again and again, a residence,

438
00:50:56.708 --> 00:50:58.041
a new plumbing in the home.

439
00:50:59.583 --> 00:51:01.083
Oh mug in the mirror, in.

440
00:51:01.791 --> 00:51:05.500
Same face, same mirror, in, infinite, definitive.

441
00:51:06.500 --> 00:51:07.041
Oh, lordy.

442
00:51:08.125 --> 00:51:09.041
Oh, lordly.

443
00:51:10.166 --> 00:51:11.750
That Roy's place, home.

444
00:51:12.291 --> 00:51:14.541
That Roy who come from birth in Moose Jaw,

445
00:51:14.750 --> 00:51:18.166
Sask to Calgary, to here where here it's cup

446
00:51:18.291 --> 00:51:21.625
after cup of coffee poured from the yellow enamel pot.

447
00:51:22.541 --> 00:51:27.041
Slender spout it says, pour,
you catch the drips at simmer coil,

448
00:51:27.458 --> 00:51:29.583
the autumnal yellow electric stove.

449
00:51:30.583 --> 00:51:34.458
As he says: "cup of coffee"
the hard laughing, hard laughing,

450
00:51:34.750 --> 00:51:38.708
at the thick lovely wood
table, his beard shaking up and down,

451
00:51:38.958 --> 00:51:42.875
that graced breath, wrapped head, bandana life, rapture,

452
00:51:43.083 --> 00:51:47.583
spelling the doubleness of
So mister, this is the body electric.

453
00:51:49.291 --> 00:51:54.875
This place, the key, the key to turn open, open, the organ

454
00:51:55.041 --> 00:51:58.125
valves wide where it's custom to remove your shoes,

455
00:51:58.541 --> 00:52:00.416
leave the street world's music behind.

456
00:52:00.958 --> 00:52:03.208
The path of, leafs through dissonant wind

457
00:52:03.583 --> 00:52:06.958
and reed to green, to tread anew with old feet,

458
00:52:07.291 --> 00:52:11.375
always new ground, made a scant dance 
that grasped the floor.

459
00:52:13.041 --> 00:52:16.375
Tributaries of eye to eye and beard, Roy's,

460
00:52:16.375 --> 00:52:17.666
lean old sinewy muscles.

461
00:52:18.625 --> 00:52:22.375
Or then, chart the construction and reconstruction walls,

462
00:52:22.708 --> 00:52:25.541
mothers, timbers flowing into the unmapped skins

463
00:52:25.958 --> 00:52:27.291
of a loved heart's chamber.

464
00:52:28.333 --> 00:52:30.500
What direction to take in a claim of love,

465
00:52:30.916 --> 00:52:33.041
undefinable, definitive infinite.

466
00:52:34.166 --> 00:52:35.416
You're back where you are, son.

467
00:52:36.625 --> 00:52:41.333
And, arteries and surgery to
your mothers, the rewiring of 1986,

468
00:52:41.875 --> 00:52:45.041
or was it 87? you wrote that previous paragraph?

469
00:52:46.041 --> 00:52:49.208
And caught on the tributary, it's now six years later,

470
00:52:49.541 --> 00:52:52.791
touch the edits following the original construction.

471
00:52:53.291 --> 00:52:55.625
Roy's surgery, now you've caught up with him.

472
00:52:56.041 --> 00:52:58.291
Hardening of the arteries, he says, leg to leg,

473
00:52:58.583 --> 00:53:01.041
the blood runs, limps, limpidity.

474
00:53:02.041 --> 00:53:04.666
Rest is happenstance.

475
00:53:09.375 --> 00:53:11.541
Roy, it turns out, had been up north in Yellowknife.

476
00:53:12.041 --> 00:53:14.083
He, a kid, art school, Calgary kid,

477
00:53:14.166 --> 00:53:16.208
working under your uncle tech's thumb.

478
00:53:16.625 --> 00:53:19.125
Nihonjin, who could have passed to look at him,

479
00:53:19.208 --> 00:53:21.458
face and skin, for at least half Japanese.

480
00:53:22.458 --> 00:53:25.625
Oh, Uncle Tech, who's the one in your eyes,

481
00:53:25.958 --> 00:53:29.250
now who approaches, our arms dangling out front of him,

482
00:53:29.291 --> 00:53:32.208
becomes age, who fades, fades off to sleep,

483
00:53:32.583 --> 00:53:35.250
image of sockeye, and sockeye and dog

484
00:53:35.333 --> 00:53:37.583
suddenly catching beneath his gentle lids.

485
00:53:38.708 --> 00:53:39.166
His hands.

486
00:53:40.166 --> 00:53:42.125
Look at his hands, says Cousin Pat,

487
00:53:42.708 --> 00:53:45.500
his daughter looking for traces that quivering as he

488
00:53:45.500 --> 00:53:46.958
nods off a question.

489
00:53:47.541 --> 00:53:48.166
Parkinson's?

490
00:53:48.958 --> 00:53:51.541
That image of the curled grammar,

491
00:53:51.833 --> 00:53:54.750
interrogatives, reversal, inflection to affection,

492
00:53:55.125 --> 00:53:56.208
and stirring asleep.

493
00:53:57.041 --> 00:53:58.000
Be gentle, sleep.

494
00:53:58.833 --> 00:54:00.916
And this image still standing years later,

495
00:54:01.208 --> 00:54:04.583
attacked, and the rest outside, Roy's, outside the car,

496
00:54:04.916 --> 00:54:08.333
dropping you off after the customary Nikkei feasto

497
00:54:08.333 --> 00:54:11.333
at Chinese food, and his upright as an old mattress,

498
00:54:11.375 --> 00:54:12.708
hands and arms shaking.

499
00:54:13.166 --> 00:54:15.166
This your father's last, left brother,

500
00:54:15.541 --> 00:54:17.375
a younger to add to the voice,

501
00:54:17.750 --> 00:54:19.583
your own body's will to speak,

502
00:54:20.041 --> 00:54:22.541
inscribe the recessative history of,

503
00:54:22.583 --> 00:54:26.416
last left of the BC fishing river, now tapped to gone.

504
00:54:28.541 --> 00:54:31.583
Note, in how many years does a narrative make,

505
00:54:31.958 --> 00:54:35.041
to the take spire of ikei, of spirit, of paragraph,

506
00:54:35.291 --> 00:54:37.750
to paraphrase, crisscross, crosshatch,

507
00:54:38.166 --> 00:54:41.791
om, a rewiring of old texts and buzz of short circuit

508
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:44.666
and long beach beating steady perot,

509
00:54:45.208 --> 00:54:47.625
perot, short tail hanging out the wind,

510
00:54:47.833 --> 00:54:52.208
maybe to get a grasp on, tsunami, the peacock's tail.

511
00:54:53.333 --> 00:54:55.583
How many voices inflected a storyteller?

512
00:54:56.166 --> 00:54:58.916
Such Shiba, such acting nostalgic presence,

513
00:54:59.333 --> 00:55:02.333
a Japanese catheter to the current way to speak,

514
00:55:02.708 --> 00:55:04.750
like, do you know the current modern Japanese?

515
00:55:05.083 --> 00:55:07.708
or a pre-war regional tongue?

516
00:55:09.041 --> 00:55:10.541
Voice outside enclosure.

517
00:55:13.208 --> 00:55:15.583
That looks like a gene, Roy, a kid,

518
00:55:16.416 --> 00:55:19.291
eating the chow, skinny kid under burly tacks,

519
00:55:19.291 --> 00:55:20.083
young man thumb.

520
00:55:20.791 --> 00:55:24.166
So string the nets from mouth to mouth,

521
00:55:24.583 --> 00:55:27.041
from uncle tank to Roy to aunt,

522
00:55:27.041 --> 00:55:29.166
at school, patsy and Venice to mother,

523
00:55:29.500 --> 00:55:32.000
and see them jumping the red spring mouth to mouth,

524
00:55:32.250 --> 00:55:34.166
you pack them coarse salt to belly,

525
00:55:34.458 --> 00:55:38.416
to silver black skin, blood-let, your taste, your this,

526
00:55:38.666 --> 00:55:40.708
this mouth, river mouth, wrap in thick blue,

527
00:55:40.750 --> 00:55:44.000
thick newspapers, and always the piling, fold.

528
00:55:45.500 --> 00:55:47.083
Fold into this bed of words,

529
00:55:47.375 --> 00:55:48.916
and see the crusty coming,

530
00:55:49.291 --> 00:55:51.833
coming fat belly bursting saline baked,

531
00:55:52.250 --> 00:55:54.916
hot 500 degree oven from mouth to mouth,

532
00:55:55.208 --> 00:55:56.958
Nihonjin no Ajii the flavor,

533
00:55:56.958 --> 00:55:59.750
so bloody, so fucking good between the lines,

534
00:56:00.083 --> 00:56:04.083
the catch net of sibling, sibilant speech, scrape the pan.

535
00:56:06.541 --> 00:56:08.000
And to tell Roy, hey,

536
00:56:08.208 --> 00:56:09.833
father used to stick out his pinky

537
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:11.916
when he drank tea, oh so Victoria,

538
00:56:12.250 --> 00:56:13.333
it is monarch English,

539
00:56:13.708 --> 00:56:17.208
a measure of twix thumb and pinky, a work,

540
00:56:17.500 --> 00:56:19.625
he spoke with his rough fisherman's hands,

541
00:56:19.958 --> 00:56:22.500
and he the government accused couldn't be trusted,

542
00:56:22.708 --> 00:56:26.583
should lose his gas boat, lost lace of his fingers,

543
00:56:26.875 --> 00:56:29.875
palm, the palm gloved on the wet pools of his net,

544
00:56:30.541 --> 00:56:32.583
and what his workers writing, dog,

545
00:56:33.083 --> 00:56:36.125
ma, dog salmon, which current to take,

546
00:56:36.125 --> 00:56:38.333
death by spawn, life goes on,

547
00:56:38.875 --> 00:56:43.041
oh swim, deep in this taste of hard, crusty salmon roe,

548
00:56:43.333 --> 00:56:44.625
explode the rich salt oil,

549
00:56:44.916 --> 00:56:47.708
or suzuko the row across the wash of tongue,

550
00:56:48.250 --> 00:56:51.125
oil slick over saline, profound league sink,

551
00:56:51.416 --> 00:56:55.250
the tether swim, sewn, sawn, sing, sewn,

552
00:56:55.750 --> 00:57:00.500
see, saw, see, seem, seems to put to a tributary map,

553
00:57:00.791 --> 00:57:04.166
and might, might be the grid, like and as,

554
00:57:04.416 --> 00:57:06.875
and when it's all means or seems to mean,

555
00:57:07.250 --> 00:57:10.291
numerical shifters to find where and what you are,

556
00:57:10.541 --> 00:57:12.166
the net, the web of feeling,

557
00:57:12.541 --> 00:57:15.208
when you're like this, the mix of sweet and salt water,

558
00:57:15.458 --> 00:57:17.375
the best tasty salmon from this entry,

559
00:57:17.583 --> 00:57:19.833
this exit of waters, you're in the flow,

560
00:57:20.166 --> 00:57:23.291
but damn, out to see, out to lunch, lost boy,

561
00:57:23.708 --> 00:57:27.666
and into trace of abalone, no beans met,

562
00:57:28.041 --> 00:57:30.000
the logarithmic jewels one after other

563
00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:32.083
on the wet breaking horizon line,

564
00:57:33.375 --> 00:57:35.166
he beat through water on the twines,

565
00:57:35.208 --> 00:57:36.916
rolling in tine and times,

566
00:57:37.250 --> 00:57:40.291
the green twine to wrap fish bundles into the future,

567
00:57:40.708 --> 00:57:43.125
the generations of lingering oven aromas

568
00:57:43.375 --> 00:57:46.125
wrap around my mother's soft gentle waist,

569
00:57:46.125 --> 00:57:48.458
the words of parcel, black marker,

570
00:57:48.666 --> 00:57:52.500
a heavenly intentioned with an address from to home,

571
00:57:52.500 --> 00:57:55.208
from home to home, here, the way with heart,

572
00:57:55.916 --> 00:57:59.250
parcels arrive home, future there is always the present

573
00:57:59.500 --> 00:58:01.625
to joyous coming, eschaton.

574
00:58:02.875 --> 00:58:05.333
Pilings, pilings, pilings, pilings,

575
00:58:05.750 --> 00:58:08.166
Boardwalk, boardwalk, boardwalk, boardwalk,

576
00:58:08.541 --> 00:58:11.916
Stilts, stilt pilings, boardwalk, pilings, stilts,

577
00:58:12.416 --> 00:58:15.291
Boardwalk this in out of thin town, shimshan,

578
00:58:15.541 --> 00:58:17.625
Japanese, the apple is empty, small,

579
00:58:17.625 --> 00:58:19.916
sailboat, a partially viewed number,

580
00:58:20.416 --> 00:58:22.958
stern rising out of the mist into sky

581
00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:26.083
across the black pines, the surface of tide

582
00:58:26.083 --> 00:58:28.333
and horizon above my eyes, I am drinking,

583
00:58:29.000 --> 00:58:32.500
mitzko he says, masato he says, masako he says,

584
00:58:32.958 --> 00:58:35.000
junko he says, miyako he says,

585
00:58:35.250 --> 00:58:39.083
noboru he says, I am Daniel and I am your father,

586
00:58:39.500 --> 00:58:42.750
I am his second son, in this boat we sail to the wind

587
00:58:42.875 --> 00:58:45.958
coming from hay sport across taste of herring roe

588
00:58:45.958 --> 00:58:49.416
on a kelp walking up the salt white boardwalk to you

589
00:58:49.416 --> 00:58:52.041
and disappearing into the cinders of a wood fire

590
00:58:52.041 --> 00:58:55.666
in the woods, I am string cord tine the wrapped steel head,

591
00:58:55.958 --> 00:58:59.375
my hands with these salt stains with the writers' ink now,

592
00:59:00.583 --> 00:59:03.250
alone, two hands flapping away,

593
00:59:03.708 --> 00:59:06.125
black ravens gone looking for my father,

594
00:59:06.708 --> 00:59:08.708
maybe to the charlotte's in sanspith,

595
00:59:08.708 --> 00:59:11.041
maybe to big falls, can you hear through the fast

596
00:59:11.166 --> 00:59:14.291
black rain clouds across two islands of Essington,

597
00:59:14.791 --> 00:59:17.666
the sound of a dam, the power is trailing,

598
00:59:18.125 --> 00:59:21.541
echos empowering the clip of a radio switched on,

599
00:59:23.916 --> 00:59:24.291
silent,

600
00:59:26.750 --> 00:59:27.000
no,

601
00:59:28.791 --> 00:59:34.541
Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup,

602
00:59:34.916 --> 00:59:38.458
teacup, teacup, teacup,

603
00:59:38.458 --> 00:59:42.166
empty, broken, ooh, lip,

604
00:59:44.041 --> 00:59:49.083
Found. The. Overgrown. Grass.

605
00:59:51.958 --> 00:59:52.750
The emptied heart,

606
00:59:54.916 --> 00:59:55.208
switched,

607
00:59:57.458 --> 00:59:57.791
on.

608
00:59:59.958 --> 01:00:02.000
how fine line a tributary made,

609
01:00:02.541 --> 01:00:04.875
and now that you are here, open palms,

610
01:00:05.250 --> 01:00:08.791
and after your usual traveling, what direction,

611
01:00:10.208 --> 01:00:11.250
where do you think you'll go next?

612
01:00:23.125 --> 01:00:30.375
[soft music]

613
01:00:32.458 --> 01:00:33.833
And finally, back to Japan.

614
01:00:34.041 --> 01:00:37.625
and this is from "Mio" in Wakayama Prefecture,

615
01:00:38.500 --> 01:00:41.916
where my mother's parents were born and they are buried,

616
01:00:42.708 --> 01:00:44.333
and from my trip there.

617
01:00:46.666 --> 01:00:48.625
Overcast, overcast gray morning,

618
01:00:49.458 --> 01:00:51.125
I fill the gray tin metal pan

619
01:00:51.666 --> 01:00:54.083
I hold by a long wooden handle to pour water

620
01:00:54.541 --> 01:00:55.791
twice over the stone,

621
01:00:56.666 --> 01:00:59.625
the second to wash the face
of the two feather family crest.

622
01:01:01.083 --> 01:01:02.708
The forecast calls for rain today,

623
01:01:03.416 --> 01:01:05.916
most of the rest of this week, cloudy.

624
01:01:07.291 --> 01:01:10.166
I've returned the old broom in it to its graveyard rack,

625
01:01:10.458 --> 01:01:11.833
I've just finished sweeping,

626
01:01:12.333 --> 01:01:14.041
whisking, clearing from the family grave,

627
01:01:14.375 --> 01:01:17.875
spots, the dry dead leaves, twigs, grass, and dirt,

628
01:01:18.625 --> 01:01:19.625
all from the surrounding,

629
01:01:19.916 --> 01:01:22.333
pushing the leaves all to the side and back.

630
01:01:24.625 --> 01:01:26.791
Poetry or writing, at least, I realize,

631
01:01:27.041 --> 01:01:29.208
has its main instrument in the broom.

632
01:01:30.458 --> 01:01:31.958
I do not see a more meaningful act

633
01:01:31.958 --> 01:01:33.791
than that of clearing, sweeping.

634
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:37.750
To get at each little rack, crack, or try,

635
01:01:38.041 --> 01:01:41.000
to use fingers if need be to pick out leaves, twigs,

636
01:01:41.083 --> 01:01:44.000
even dirt, where the broom strands cannot reach.

637
01:01:45.375 --> 01:01:47.916
Nothing is more an act of the present to do right,

638
01:01:48.333 --> 01:01:51.291
but directly faces not later, not before.

639
01:01:55.333 --> 01:01:58.791
And you try to get all, redo what's missed,

640
01:01:59.291 --> 01:02:05.125
but decide at each stroke, felt in the fingers and wrist,

641
01:02:05.625 --> 01:02:08.375
when to give up, let it be.

642
01:02:09.750 --> 01:02:12.458
We know that it's such a futile thing to do,

643
01:02:12.708 --> 01:02:15.750
make perfect, make something we do with our own hands

644
01:02:15.750 --> 01:02:17.166
in the moment forever.

645
01:02:18.791 --> 01:02:21.291
Even as I sweep, the slightest breeze comes

646
01:02:21.541 --> 01:02:24.000
and asks me to retrace or go on,

647
01:02:24.375 --> 01:02:27.250
trying to haul in as much of the debris I can

648
01:02:27.291 --> 01:02:28.750
without lingering too long.

649
01:02:29.625 --> 01:02:33.208
What I do in meal, Wakayama, learn, experience,

650
01:02:33.875 --> 01:02:37.250
or gain inspiration from is not something just of here.

651
01:02:38.500 --> 01:02:40.666
It is all an accumulation of being aware

652
01:02:40.666 --> 01:02:45.750
or dumbed in Kyoto, a daisen in and Shōden-ji in Kyoto.

653
01:02:46.125 --> 01:02:52.166
It is from 13 long years ago when I watched old, bent,

654
01:02:52.583 --> 01:02:56.541
seeming frail, yet sturdy women sweeping in temple grounds.

655
01:02:57.583 --> 01:03:01.500
The winds were blowing as by hand, they picked out leaves,

656
01:03:01.833 --> 01:03:03.333
moving forward into the present,

657
01:03:03.791 --> 01:03:05.541
not lingering with hesitation and doubt.

658
01:03:07.791 --> 01:03:10.333
The night years passed in another country

659
01:03:10.333 --> 01:03:12.666
when I walked near dead parents,

660
01:03:13.166 --> 01:03:14.375
strangled and close to death.

661
01:03:14.375 --> 01:03:14.791
I was decisive in their advice to head back at that point.

662
01:03:15.166 --> 01:03:18.833
It meant to head back into a present

663
01:03:19.416 --> 01:03:21.750
that held the future 

664
01:03:21.750 --> 01:03:25.500
that I have now come to.

665
01:03:26.750 --> 01:03:28.541
13 years since I first came

666
01:03:28.541 --> 01:03:30.625
to the graves of my mother's parents.

667
01:03:31.458 --> 01:03:34.666
And it is in her, mitzko, shining light

668
01:03:34.666 --> 01:03:37.875
that her broom has become my strongest pen

669
01:03:37.875 --> 01:03:41.250
to hold in the dazzle of these supermarket flowers I have carried

670
01:03:42.958 --> 01:03:47.875
magenta, pink, scarlet, yellow and white.

671
01:03:51.333 --> 01:04:03.791
Thank you very much, thank you.

672
01:04:04.041 --> 01:04:06.500
[Applause, Cheering]

673
01:04:12.958 --> 01:04:22.083
[Applause, Cheering]

674
01:04:25.708 --> 01:04:28.541
Thank you so much, Gerry.

675
01:04:37.875 --> 01:04:43.541
To quote a line from Roy before you, I stand astonished.

676
01:04:44.250 --> 01:04:46.125
Thank you, thank you for that beautiful reading.

677
01:04:47.958 --> 01:04:50.333
Okay, so, God, what an evening.

678
01:04:51.125 --> 01:04:52.916
Thank you, Rhoda, Tina and Gerry

679
01:04:53.083 --> 01:04:54.125
for sharing your work with us

680
01:04:54.125 --> 01:04:55.208
and to everyone here tonight

681
01:04:55.208 --> 01:04:56.666
for making space for these words.

682
01:04:57.583 --> 01:04:58.833
If you enjoyed tonight's reading,

683
01:04:58.833 --> 01:05:01.083
please mark your calendars
for the next event in this series

684
01:05:01.083 --> 01:05:03.333
on Thursday, October 3rd.

685
01:05:03.333 --> 01:05:05.541
That evening, we will be welcoming visiting author,

686
01:05:05.791 --> 01:05:09.708
Jordan Abel, alongside Tiziana La Milia and Phanuel Antwi.

687
01:05:11.166 --> 01:05:12.791
We look forward to sharing the full invitation

688
01:05:12.791 --> 01:05:14.083
with you in the coming weeks.

689
01:05:16.333 --> 01:05:18.041
Again, if you enjoyed tonight's free reading,

690
01:05:18.041 --> 01:05:20.166
please consider showing
your support for the Capilano Review

691
01:05:20.166 --> 01:05:21.041
by making a donation

692
01:05:21.041 --> 01:05:23.166
or purchasing a year-long magazine subscription.

693
01:05:24.000 --> 01:05:25.541
And in fact, as I mentioned before,

694
01:05:26.541 --> 01:05:29.916
the real materials issue, which Tina read from

695
01:05:29.916 --> 01:05:33.875
is coming out within the next couple of days.

696
01:05:34.083 --> 01:05:36.458
So, now is a great time to subscribe.

697
01:05:36.458 --> 01:05:37.708
You will receive it right away.

698
01:05:40.750 --> 01:05:43.458
We also have our latest Spring 2024 issue

699
01:05:43.458 --> 01:05:44.500
for sale at the table,

700
01:05:45.041 --> 01:05:47.125
as well as artist prints, tote bags and other merch.

701
01:05:48.166 --> 01:05:50.875
So thanks again, all of you for being here tonight

702
01:05:51.000 --> 01:05:52.083
and have a wonderful evening.

703
01:05:52.708 --> 01:05:55.791
[Audience Applauding]